Getting Persuasive
by Moue
Summary: In which Sesshoumaru discovers the unfortunate result of remaining asexual for too long. Compromising positions are caught and Kagura remains Sesshoumaru’s only hope to set things right.


**Author: Moue**

Disclaimer: No money to buy, no profit made and no infringement intended

Summary: Sesshoumaru would never give himself to a woman he believes is beneath him, but 40 years is a very long time to remain asexual. He's got to snap one day and along comes 7 year old Rin. Well, not if Kagura has anything to say about it.

Rating: T

_**Getting Persuasive**_

The sun was still high in the sky when Sesshoumaru led the way down the slightly beaten path through the park. Rin was following behind him and quickly falling behind. When he didn't hear the patter of her tiny feet at his heels anymore, he turned around. She was weighed down with an absurd amount of flowers and though his stoic expression didn't change, he did feel a twinge of amusement as he watched her adding more to the pile. She was flushed with happiness, in her element.

On the other side of the park was his penthouse, their destination. Sesshoumaru had just picked Rin up from school and had, after some begging on the part of the little flower maiden, taken the path through the park. It had obviously pleased Rin. Now, she ran back to him, her arms full of freshly picked blossoms, eyes shining and expectant.

_Oh why not?_ Sesshoumaru reasoned and sat down on the grass Indian style, awaiting his violently colorful fate. Not that he really minded when Rin climbed into his lap like a haphazard spelunker...though the part where she would stick flowers in his hair and basically make him look like a drag queen in training _was_ slightly annoying. But at least it made him feel pretty, if not a bit gay.

It all started out normally: Rin braiding his hair with wildflowers, chucking in the occasional dandelion for effect. Then, as she was about to jam the daisy chain on his head, she slipped, fell and blindly reached out for the nearest thing to hold on to, which just happened to be Sesshoumaru's neck. With a twist and a thump Sesshoumaru found himself in the awkward position of being straddled by Rin with her arms secured tightly around his neck.

Now, any _normal_ person in this awkward situation would have just laughed it off and gotten on with their lives. However, that was not the case here with our favorite 40-year-old virgin. Which, we all know he is due to his strong belief that he is just too far above doing anyone that doesn't have as big an ego as him.

Well mister, not getting any for that long has some serious consequences you know! And Sesshoumaru was about to learn that the hard way. Literally.

Rin, being the oblivious little babycake she was, didn't notice a thing as she continued to adorn Sesshy with her flower power —still in straddle mode. Sesshy's blood cells, however, were not so nonchalant. Currently, they were in a passionate argument on whether they should rush up or down, but before they could come to a complete decision Sesshy jumped up and pushed back his pedophilic instincts. Rin tumbled into a flowery heap.

"Let's go Rin." He commanded to a confused Rin lying on the ground. Inwardly he added, _Back pedophilic instincts, back I say!_

So they headed home as if the whole travesty had never taken place. Unfortunately for them, someone had seen the whole incident and was now silently hyperventilating. However, that did not stop her from blurring her fingers in her haste to text message.

* * *

When Sesshoumaru opened the door to his penthouse, he knew something was wrong. The several pairs of eyes boring into him gave him the clue. Besides, it can be pretty obvious when you've got Inuyasha and his whole crew sitting on your couch staring at you with a mixture of pity, disgust…and, in the case of Kagome, a great desire to cause injury.

"What the hell is going on?" Sesshoumaru demanded. Though he wasn't particularly happy to see _any _of his brother's crew in his home, he reserved an especially venomous glare for his younger sibling. Really, now, the nerve of these people, barging in on his personal abode.

He hated his brother. Before Inuyasha had a chance to move, he demonstrated this fact by trying to strangle him.

"This is all for your own good," explained Kagome, prying Sessh's fingers from Inuyasha's neck. "Anyway, I'm the one who arranged this intervention."

"What's that?" asked Rin, cocking her head quizzically.

Everyone in the room looked at each other. "Rin, an intervention is when we all get together when we want to stop something bad from happening." Sango explained, smiling kindly.

"Now I think it would be best if you would just wait in your room until all this has been cleared up."

Rin nodded sagely as if she actually understood what was going on and skipped out of the room. A few minutes later the sound of a door being slammed was heard and everyone in the room turned to glare at Sesshoumaru.

"What?" he asked. He wouldn't actually admit it out loud, but he was unnerved by the whole Children of the Corn look they were projecting towards him.

It was Miroku who first spoke. "Uh, Sesshoumaru, we are just concerned about your strange relationship with Rin. Or more importantly, you lack of a normal relationship with a woman your age."

Sesshoumaru blanched. So all this was about his sex life? How personal could they get?

"My sex life isn't any of your concern!" He shot back, eyes flashing. In retrospect, it was the worst thing he could have said.

Kagome's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Oh, so you admit to taking advantage of a poor innocent girl like Rin, eh? How could you? She's only seven years old! Seriously though, how'd you even manage a feat like that?"

There was an intent silence. Inuyasha shook his head in disappointment. Miroku smiled lecherously as he imagined just how Sesshoumaru really could have managed it.

Finally, Inuyasha said, "I would never have pegged you as a pedophile, but it seems the Catholic priests got to you too."

Sesshoumaru was taken aback, more so by the accusation than by the religious reference that Inuyasha, of all people, had made.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, fighting the twitch in his eyebrow. Surely nobody had seen his actions at the park…had they? Besides, it's not like he actually did anything. He had ended the situation before it could get worse! No, of course nobody had seen…

"I saw you molesting her in the park!" shouted Kagome. Her index finger was shaking in anger as she jabbed it at Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru was caught. He couldn't believe someone had seen them! The twitch was getting worse, but years of impassive

"But nothing was going on!" He pleaded weakly. "Rin just slipped while putting flowers in my hair!" Crap, he'd said too much. Inuyasha and Miroku sniggered. Sesshoumaru glared and somewhere upstairs, Rin bit into a delicious slice of heaven in the form of a cheesecake.

"Nothing was going on? You were raping her with your eyes!" Kagome roared. Inuyasha, Miroku and Sango had to combine their strengths just to hold her back. Even then, they barely retrained the crazed woman from ripping off Sesshoumaru's arms and beating him with them. Poor guy, there was no way his reputation would survive after this.

Thankfully, Sango chose this moment to step in. "Listen, I know it must not be easy for you: having little Miss Lolita constantly around, especially with your status as…a 40-year-old virgin." Sesshoumaru opened his mouth to protest, but Sango plowed on.

"So we've decided to take drastic measures! In order to counteract your transformation into creepy pedophile extraordinaire, we have set up emergency sessions with the most persuasive therapist in Tokyo!"

Sesshoumaru stared at the overly enthusiastic Sango. The looks around the room told him he would have to go through with the plan, whether he liked it or not. Though perhaps going through with it wouldn't be so bad… it would get them off of his back, at least. "So…" he muttered reluctantly, "When's the session?"

Suddenly, the soft click-clack of heels he'd heard earlier sounded much louder and closer. Sesshoumaru could only assume it was said therapist, but refused to look interested. He stayed stoic and waited until he saw the ridiculously thin heels of a pair of pumps stepping in his line of vision. He looked up and was surprised to see a young woman watching him though bright red eyes.

"It starts…now." Her smile was cold and her eyes even colder.

Sesshoumaru smirked. "So you're my new therapist, huh?" He took in smooth pale skin, piercing red eyes, a slight sneer behind red stained lips and thick raven hair twisted into a severe bun. Her crisp black suit gave her every bit the look of a professional with a sexy twist.

"I'm Sesshoumaru." He stepped forward and extended his hand.

The woman shook it with a firm grip. "I know: the pedophile right? I'm Kagura." Sesshoumaru grimaced and tightened his grip. Surprisingly, the woman did not flinch—she just smirked a little more. How strange…

"Let's go upstairs alright? I'm sure I know of a few methods that might help you. Please leave us." She commanded to the others in a haughty tone. She had a very familiar attitude.

Kagome rolled her eyes and motioned toward her husband and best friend. "Alright, you heard the lady."

Said lady had suddenly come in very close contact with her client. Sesshoumaru cocked a silvery eyebrow, waiting for an explanation. In answer, a stray hand drifted across tender regions and Kagura dragged a very surprised, yet very impressed man up the stairs. None had ever dared to go so far before. Sesshoumaru decided then and there that Kagura was more than the average therapist.

Downstairs Inuyasha's hyper sensitive ears heard the sound of someone getting slammed onto a bed. He turned towards Kagome askance. She laughed at his confusion and said, "No, I'm sure Sesshoumaru will be ok. Did you really think that being the most persuasive therapist in Tokyo only does talking?"

Miroku was the first to get it. "Well I'm in the wrong profession." He stated flatly and ducked all in one breath. It wasn't fast enough and he was whacked in the back of the head by a madly blushing Sango.

"I believe our work here is done," announced Kagome, pleased that things had turned out so well. At first she had worried that the chemistry wouldn't work but that was no longer a problem. Now if only she could get some therapy of her own…

Inuyasha caught onto her thoughts quickly and muttered a short 'feh' before sweeping Kagome into his arms bridal style. With a quick leap away, the couple had left to who knows what… or how.

Sango flushed brighter and turned towards her pervert of a boyfriend. Miroku felt uneasy; Sango had a strange look on her face. "Let's go to my place." She said suddenly as she pulled an elated Miroku out the door. He thanked every god he knew before jumping into the car and flooring the gas pedal.

Everybody was very busy that night except for Rin. She still had no idea what an intervention was. Good thing too, otherwise she would have been extremely traumatized, and somehow I don't think we would have wanted Kagura to help her. Yes, the sweetie was just as oblivious as ever.

The next morning Rin was pleasantly surprised to find slightly rumpled woman sitting on Sesshoumaru's lap. Sesshoumaru seemed very pleased and Rin greeted the woman happily. She was always glad to meet new people. This person just happened to enjoy disappearing with Sesshoumaru for hours at a time. Strange noises usually followed them.

Sesshoumaru had never appreciated how much time Rin spent in her garden until then.

* * *

_**Several Years Later**_

Sesshoumaru was having a party in honor of the day he proposed to Kagura. "It was all thanks to Kagome. If she wasn't such a voyeur, none of this would have ever happened!" He explained, lifting up his glass in a toast. Kagura shifted in her position on his lap and giggled.

Rin took a sip of her milk thoughtfully. "You know, I never really understood what brought you and Kagura together. Or what Kagome had to do with it," She mused.

In room was suddenly filled with massive sweat drops.

"But to hell with it—a toast to Kagome!"

A chorus of "To Kagome!" sounded followed closely by the sound of clinking glass. As Rin took another drink, she caught Kagome's eye over the rim of her wine glass (even if she wasn't old enough to drink wine, she could still pour milk into a wine glass). She winked and Kagome returned the gesture surreptitiously.

'_Like I'm actually that blind,'_ thought Rin as she looked at her father figure with fondness. It had made her so happy to have been adopted by such a wonderful man that she had decided to repay the favor and find him the perfect woman. Kagura had helped Rin after Naraku mugged her, so Rin only needed to put two and two together, or in this case, one and one.

She shook herself out of her thoughts, tossed back the rest of her drink and skipped over to join Sango's little brother Kohaku. He was looking quite delish today…

Moue: Reviews are shagged accordingly.


End file.
